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Monday, February 27, 2012

Is our Lifestyle Old or Is it Future Lifestyle

Is it an Old Fashion Family Lifestyle? Maybe what we are beginning to see is the return of our forefathers. Years ago people living in an extended family home. It was not uncommon to see Grandma and Grandpa living with the family. In some cases even the Aunts and Uncles lived on the family farm.

When we first started our change we never thought ten years down the road our family would be over twenty people living in the family home. It started due to the fact that I had a spinal cord injury and lost my use of my left side. The pain was so bad that I began wanting to die. My older two sons noticed that help was needed in our family home. Soon the two of them began to come home and stay longer and longer. It was not long before the first son moved home and within days the second son moved it.

My second son married the same day he moved home. His wife had decided to stop working outside of the home so she could help me get rehab and proper medical attention. Another goal that the two sons and my new daughter in law Christina, was to make sure the younger two brothers received the best chance to enjoy their youth and get the best possible education possible. Everything happened so fast that we needed a fast fix for rules and goals within the home unit.

The first thing that had to be discussed was the fact that as I was not willing to have anyone boss me around. Yet, someone needed to be the head person in charge, as well as the individual had to make sure everything was handled properly. When I say properly I mean examining all parts of the problem and solution. It was only right that as the oldest and the own of the home at that time would be me. Truthfully I did not know what this would mean years down the road or I might have decided this was not a good idea.

The next part of Authority was the fact that even though I had the final say, It needed to be respected that two sons happen to be adults and one of those sons was married. This meant that they needed to be considered separated households. The structure would be they would handle their own issues but never cross over into the others personal family unit. My daughter in law had to have respect and I knew this. Crossing over meant that none of my sons could speak harass toward her. They could speak with their brother or choose to bring the issue to me. Most the time it is brought to me, but there is no excuse for crossing over.

Several years later, I have four sons living at home with each of them having their own little family circle. This means that their are four daughter in laws and all their children. We have had three babies born less than 9 months ago and one more baby on the way.

Maybe it was easier for my sons to blend into this family type home because I have often in the past taken in homeless people and helped them to get on their feet. Every time the individual would be ready to move into their new home, I would state to the family I would not except anymore individuals.

So I bet you are wondering if this ever ended. The truth is I stopped opening my door, but my sons have not failed to take off from the point I stopped. Currently we have one mother, one cute baby girl and two men. The only difference is that only one of these individuals will be working towards the day that they have their own place. The other young man had been a part of our family of 8 years and the young lady has been here before 4 years ago, but now she is here to stay.

All the children in the home understand who their parents are and go along with the chain of command. They know respect is shown to all adults and if there is a problem they need to go to their parents or to me (known as Nanna). The parents are responsible for the care of their own children but can ask for assistance from the other adults. A great example is during the flu season or even teething time.

Our home is full of love, yet not exempt to the daily problems. Meal time is great because we believe in sitting around the table. This past Christmas I was given a beautiful table that handles us just fine. We will need to enlarge it when the children leave the high chairs. Our first large table was made out of saw horses and plywood. We kept a plastic table cloth on it or should I say two of those table clothes. It was plenty long and everyone had elbow room. I guess as long as there is wood our family table will continue to keep growing.

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